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Archive for the ‘Rudy’s Blog’ Category

Be High

Wednesday, February 16th, 2022

About three weeks ago, I went for a hike in Castle Rock Park, alone, going far, and I talked to a plant for a long time. A madrone with a duckbeak snag and a moss beard.  I haven’t used pot or alcohol for twenty-five years, but I still like to be high.  When I find the way.  After all, it never was about getting high.  It’s always been about being high. And here’s the guy I was high with.

Amazing creature.  The skin of these madrone’s so smooth and bumpy.  I want to put him—them into a story.  I’m going to call them Bumpy the Tree-ee.

The way I met Bumpy—I was sitting on this overlook at Castle Rock where I can see across valleys and the Santa Cruz mountains, all the way to Monterey Bay…and I was pushing.  Trying to get high. And not making it.  Kind of despondently thinking, I know I used to get very excited by this spot, and…what was I used to do to get into this scene so heavily? Without having to burn a bone of the good old green.

Don’t take out your phone Rudy.  The road to High sure as f*ck doesn’t run through checking for emails, text messages, Twitter , and new stories on the Washington Post.

The wonderful doughy flesh of the madrone trees. They look like trees sculpted by someone unconcerned with the normal standards of how trees should be shaped. Fat branches sprout out thin branches instead of stepping through the intermediate stages. The trunks have great wens and buboes, elephant wrinkles and stomach-paunch folds; they puddle out at the base.

I decided to paint Bumpy. I’d been trying to get a new painting going, and all I had was this tasteful grid of colors that I kept changing.  I was inspired by Sylvia’s latest beautiful quilt, with wonderful colored squares, and circles inside the squares, and each square/circle divided in four. But I settled for plain old bland squares.  And then obviously I needed more.

I was on the point of putting faces into the squares—thinking the faces might represent characters or critters in my novel, but that felt boring, also the canvas isn’t very big, so the faces wouldn’t get much pop.  And then I decided to put in maybe just three faces, maybe to be characters in a story, and to have the middle of the canvas filled by Bumpy the Tree-ee.

“Bumpy the Tree-ee” acrylic on canvas, February, 2022, 28” x 22”. Click for a larger version of the painting. For more info see my Paintings page.

The painting took me a long time, like seven or eight sessions, when usually I can finish in four.  I kept adding to it.  Making the tree gnarlier.  Working on the kids’ faces.  Doing the color backgrounds over and over.

I’d like to put Bumpy and the three kids into a story to be a prequel or sequel to  my story “Everything Is Everything,” which I’ve rewritten quite a few times.  It’s a story about endlessly regressing scale.  Lower and lower size levels.  And it’s useful to remember that trees have extensive root systems. Bumpy’s root system might go down through transfinitely many size levels. He might be, in some very real sense, omnipresent, with a tendril always closer than you think.

I don’t want to do the stale thing of saying atoms are solar systems. For that matter I don’t want to hang out on the atomic level at all.  Hell, I already did that in my very first novel Spacetime Donuts—which I wrote in 1976, some 55 years ago.

I want to go down to the subdimensional level below the atoms.  I love that word “subdimensions.” But it’s a little misleading.  If we have Absolutley Infinite “Conway space” like in the Surreal Numbers post I did a while back, we’re talking more about size scale more than about subdimensions.  Maybe I better say infinitesimal, or no…transinfinitesimal.

The Mathematician Godfather makes you an offer you can’t understand.

The painting above is one of my favorite in the permanent collection at SF MOMA.  James Roseqnuist, “Leaky Ride For Dr. Leakey.”  I’ve never seen an explanation of the painting, but I have a theory.  First of all, Dr. Leakey was a British anthropologist.  But let’s just think of him as a man who’s perhaps interested in sex.

Sex?  Well “ride” suggests intercourse, right?  And we see a Pop Art glamor girl looking out through the star-path zigzags on the right.  And the central image shows an assemblage that’s screwed together.  And it’s dripping.  And pencils…well what other words start with PEN?  A Leady Ride for Dr. Leakey…and, harrumph, a thoroughly enjoyable one.

Am I high yet?  Jive can get me there.

Mystery guests behind the moire curtains. And when I see their “faces,” I scream until my voice cracks and goes silent.

Adventure.  Something to think about besides the three bringdowns: past remorse, present fear, future tasks.  Better: past happy memories, present is NOW, future is wide open.  No need to worry about it.  It ain’t here yet.

The third year of Covid coming on.  Wow.  Maybe nothing matters anymore.  Should I write another novel?  I’ll be 76 in March.

Last night I was thinking maybe I really am done with being a novelist.  Ageism is real. People tend not to care what I do, even if it’s good. And Age is real as well, that is, my powers are fading. At this point I’m sometimes repeating myself.

Novels take so long, and they’re so hard for me to sell anymore. If I’m bopping around the size scales, it could become a picaresque novel.  All that world-building.  Kind of frenetic, and tiresome to think about..

In a way I’m up for writing a transreal novel about getting old and dying, I did the afterlife in White Light. I danced around it in Juicy Ghosts, but didn’t fully go in there—although I guess teepsapce is a bit like the afterlife.

Get a grip, Rudy.  You don’t want to write a novel that’s about getting old and dying. That’s too much like real life.

Hi, Jack.

The broken clock all gone.

Time frozen.

Sylvia and I went down to Seabright Beach near the harbor in Santa Cruz. Very low tide, the riprap jacks deep in the sand, only a stub of the timeflown lighthouse.

Planet of the Apes. This was once a great city. And everyone was high.

The lean, faceless natives gathered, sounding shrill cries. They led us to a feast of roast carrion on a smoking pile of dried kelp.

The world is fun.

How To Write: Getting Ideas, Part II

Thursday, February 3rd, 2022

Where do I get my ideas for science fiction?

This continues my earlier post on the topic. The material is taken from interviews.

That 3d plastic slug was 3d printed for me by Chuck Shotton.

Interviewed by Heath Row for The National Fantasy Fan, July, 2009. New York.

You asked how I between the value of expanding my consciousness by getting high verse the risks of excess. Ever since I turned fifty, I strike the balance by being clean and sober! When I was younger, like so many writers, I liked to think that getting high gave me creative inspiration—and maybe, now and then, it did. At the very least, it brought me into contact with some colorful people. But at some point, the cost began seeming too steep.

What I’ve found over the recent years is that I don’t actually need any kind of chemical input in order to have strange ideas. Come to think of it, I even had unusual ideas when I was an kid. That’s just how my mind happens to work—you might say that I’m lucky.

These days if I feel dry or uncreative, it helps to simply do something different. Go on a bike ride, go to the beach, see a movie, talk to people or, if I have the time and the money, take a vacation trip. And even if I don’t do anything much, in a day or two the images and ideas come dripping back in. Sometimes it just takes a little patience. So far, the Muse keeps showing up.

Interviewed by Maximus Kim for 3 AM Webzine, November, 2010, Los Angeles

I was a big fan of pot when I was younger. But over time, pot and alcohol got to be more trouble than they were worth, and I got some help and managed to quit using them.

I was rarely high when I was writing—it tended to make the writing seem too hard. But there were times when I might pencil in some revisions while I was high. Or I’d jot down some ideas about my work in progress, if I was high at a concert or walking in the woods, ideas for wacky dialog or bizarre turns of my plot. I’d write them on the piece of paper that I always carry in my back pocket. Some of these ideas would be good, some not.

Artists sometimes fear that they’ll lose their inspiration or their edge if they sober up. And I worried a little about that. But over the years since I quit, I’ve found that I’m just as wild as ever. The weird ideas percolate naturally out of my mind. It was me all along.

The upside of being sober is that I have more energy than before. And I’m much less likely to get into depression and remorse. But I still worry a lot more than I’d like to. That’s how I am.

***

Although I have a Ph. D. in mathematics, I never took a course in computer science or in writing. So I am in many ways self-taught.

Writing was the craft I wanted to learn the most, and I got my first start at it simply by writing a lot of letters to my college friends. I used a typewriter, just as I imagined professional writers would do. I had an Olivetti portable. Later, after grad school, I got a rose-colored IBM Selectric, a lovely machine, currently enshrined in my basement.

Part of learning to write is a matter of learning to imitate the writers that you admire. I read a lot, and, over the years I imitated Hemingway, Kerouac, Terry Southern, Pynchon, Burroughs, Vonnegut, Phil Dick, Robert Sheckley and many others. Thanks to some fortunate fluke of my mental makeup—and to years of practice—I find it fairly easy to mold words into patterns that I like.

If you read a lot, you develop a large inner library of words and phrases that you love, not to mention a repertoire of story twists, attitudes, and styles of thought. The inside of a working writer’s head is like the backstage wardrobe room at a theater. In your apprenticeship you stock the wardrobe room, then you began assembling costumes from it, and perhaps at some point you’re designing entirely new garments of your own.

We place the greatest value on the things we discover ourselves. School is really a matter of teaching you how to go about your investigations. The real knowledge consists of the things you find on your own.

***

It’s not a good idea to lean too heavily on existing SF books and movies. Those are a pool of old ideas. For the new ideas, you need to look at the actual world. Pay attention to the things you see in your daily life, and the things you see in the media. If you notice something odd, imagine dialing up the oddity to a still higher level.

It’s also good to let go of logic. SF stories are in some ways like fairy tales. Go ahead with any weird, surrealist notion that you have. You can always invent some bogus scientific justification later on!

***

It goes without saying that science needs to push even harder on the problem of finding non-polluting sources for energy. It still could be that there’s some wholly new kind of energy source we’ve never thought of—perhaps something involving dark matter, string theory or quantum foam. After all, two centuries ago, nobody knew about nuclear power or even electricity.

Biotech or genomics seem like huge new frontiers for science. Just as computer chips have replaced gears, I see tweaked organisms of the future replacing chips. In five hundred years we may not have any machines at all. Everything around us will be, at some low level, alive.

Interviewed by Eduardo Almiñana, for Androide magazine, October 2011, Valencia, Spain.

It’s not a good idea to lean too heavily on existing SF books and movies. Those are a pool of old ideas. For the new ideas, you need to look at the actual world. Pay attention to the things you see in your daily life, and the things you see in the media. If you notice something odd, imagine dialing up the oddity to a still higher level.

I’ll never stop being a cyberpunk, not that it’s a commercially viable label to use anymore. We started writing cyberpunk because we had a really strong discontent with the status quo in science fiction, and with the state of human society at large.

Two big thematic notions in cyberpunk are, firstly, the blending of human minds with machines, and, secondly, our psychic migration from physical reality into a web-based virtual reality.

Mainstream thinkers still don’t seem comfortable with the notion that digital reality and mental reality are points on a continuum. Another cyberpunk teaching that’s not so widely known is that digital things can be squishy, funky, and smooth. Like my moldie robots in Freeware that are made of soft, flickering plastic that’s infested with smelly mold.

It’s also good to let go of logic. SF stories are in some ways like fairy tales. Go ahead with any weird, surrealist notion that you have. You can always invent some bogus scientific justification later on!

I got into chaos theory when I helped write a popular science software package that was meant to accompany James Gleick’s book Chaos. I think the fundamental insight is that you can have a completely deterministic system that, over time, generates outputs that appear really intricate, complex, and gnarly. People used to suppose that if something was orderly and logical, it would have to be boring and predictable. And that anything really interesting would have to involve randomness. But the chaotic zone lies in between the two. The secret is that if a computation takes a considerable amount of time to run, then its output can seem completely surprising—because you can’t mentally carry out that amount of computation in a tractable amount of time.

***

I never really understood the ideas in economics, in fact I almost failed to graduate from college because I couldn’t stand going to economics lectures. Hate, hate, hate the stuff. It’s like studying Bible stories or pseudoscience—economics has so little connection to daily reality. For instance, it’s completely obvious that companies can’t in fact grow forever, year after year, without hitting some debilitating limits. But the so-called value of a company is based on how much they grow from quarter to quarter. Economics as practiced by bankers is complete horseshit, but they’ve bought out all the politicians, so nothing reasonable ever gets done. In the long run, of course, the situation will resolve itself. Meanwhile we’re seeing a resurgence of the dystopic SF novel!

Interviewed by Brendan Byrne, for BoingBoing, New York, January, 2012

Although cyberpunk is now viewed as a successful subgenre of SF, it was indeed controversial when we started. But that’s the way we wanted it. If nobody’s pissed off, you’re not trying hard enough.

***

Math is a great source of cool SF ideas. And the style of mathematical thought is good training. Often in math you start out with a particular set of axioms and explore what you can deduce from these laws. Creating an SF world is a similar kind of thought experiment. You make whatever wild and crazy assumptions you like, and then see what follows from them.

But, really, when I’m writing SF, I’m just as likely to work the other way around. That is, I’ll start with some cool kind of special effect—like, let’s say, our Earth unfurling to become an infinite plane—and then I’ll dream up some relatively plausible hole in physics that makes my scenario possible.

If you’re willing to jiggle the laws, you can fit everything together in a logical way—and if you ponder the ensuing logical consequences, you come up with some gnarly extra effects for free.

On the subject of math, it’s also worth mentioning that, culturally speaking, mathematicians are about as close to living and breathing aliens as you’ll ever see. Weirder than stoners, weirder than computer hackers, weirder than SF fans. My people.

***

I’ve also gotten a lot from Silicon Valley. Cellular automata, or CAs for short, aren’t as well-known as fractals, but they’re equally beautiful. They’re like self-generating videos. You can get a CA running on your computer screen and it’s like watching a living oriental rug, or an out-of-control lava lamp with little bugs swimming inside. Over the years I spent hundreds or maybe thousands of hours staring at CAs. They ate my brain. A pure software high.

Landing in Silicon Valley in 1986 was a real stroke of luck. I kept on writing, but I got into being a professor of computer science for my day job. And I did some work as a software engineer at a big company. I was riding the wave—surfing those pixels for twenty years, out there in it every day, rain or shine. It was good. But now I’m glad I’ve retired from programming and from teaching CS.

When I see an old movie, like from the 40s or 50s or 60s, the people look so calm. They don’t have smart phones, they’re not looking at computer screens, they’re taking their time. They’ll sit in a chair and just stare off into space. I think someday we’ll find our way back to that garden of Eden. The machines will melt away.

First we’ll turn our devices into little plants and animals—that’s biotech. And then we’ll get to what I’m calling hylotech. This means that we’ll find a way to talk to objects and see that they’re quantum-computationally alive. And then it’ll be as mellow as the 50s again.

***

When I was younger I was more attracted to immortality than I am now. I think I was worried there were various things I might not live to do—travel, fatherhood, publishing. But now I’m more accepting of death. Nothing lasts. The petals whirl, the leaves fall, the river flows. Why fight it? You get the one lifetime and it’s enough. At some point you have to let go.

I think people who obsess about becoming immortal are loses on an ego trip. They don’t want to accept that the world will go on just the same without them. Certainly, as technology advances, we’ll see people living longer. And, at the more SF end of things, you might look for injectable nanobots to repair your body, or the use of fresh tank-grown clone bodies, or the ability to upload your mind into an artificial android body. I wrote about the last of these in my novel Software, thirty years ago. But in reality I don’t see any of these things happening very soon.

***

The “singularity” means different things to different people. In a way, we’re already well past a singularity, which was the coming of the computers. But in the early 2000s, people had a feeling that a much bigger change is coming very soon. There’s a hope that if you can just hang on for, say, another thirty years, then the nanobot or clone-body or digital-upload version of immortality will be available. Note that many of those spreading this promise are also offering to sell you expensive vitamins to help you hang on. They’re selling snake oil. It’s a con.

The reason I called my early 2000s novel Postsingular was because I wanted to leapfrog past the current wave of bullshit—and get out into the raw, energizing zone of all-new cutting-edge SF. There’s still a lot of wonderful stuff to explore. We haven’t come close to exhausting the riches of this world.

Interviewed by Nas Hedron, for The Turing Centenary, Brazil, September, 2012

I’ve always been bored by the idea of rigid, clunky, machine-like robots. I wanted robots to be funky and wiggly and sexy. I think it’s likely that if we ever have really useful and intelligent robots, they’re going to be more like tentacled octopi than like brittle ants. Of course thirty years ago, when I started writing about flickercladding and piezoplastic “moldie” robots in my Ware novels, this wasn’t at all a familiar idea.

Having gotten used to the idea of soft machines, it became natural for me to turn things around—and to have the cellular structure of human flesh become as malleable as the material of a computer display.

In my Ware novels there’s a drug called “merge” that lets people melt together inside a tub called a love puddle. In my novel Turing & Burroughs, a person who’s a skugger can turn into something like giant slug. There’s a scene where Turing and another skugger have sex by twisting themselves around each other while hanging from a rafter at Burroughs’s parents’ house. Mrs. Burroughs throws them out.

Reading a draft of this passage, my wife said, “Oh, you’re always doing this, having people merge together, it’s so icky.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but that’s sex, isn’t it? That’s how it is.”

We’re biological organisms—we’re not computers, and we’re not machines.

Interviewed by Aaron Marcus for UX, December, 2012, Berkely

For a number of years I’ve been writing about an interface device that I call an “uvvy,” which is pronounced to rhyme with “lovey-dovey.” It’s made of piezoplastic, that is a soft computational plastic. Thomas Pynchon had a substance like this in his novel, Gravity’s Rainbow—he called it imipolex, and I use this word in, for instance, my novel Freeware, which is a part of the Ware Tetralogy, now available in a free Creative Commons edition.

An uvvy sits on the back of your neck and interfaces with your brain via electromagnetic waves interacting with the spinal cord—most users will want to stay away from interface probes that stick into them like wires. The uvvy functions like a smart phone, but it’s activated by subvocal speech and mental commands. It sends sounds and images into your brain.

It’s absurd to see people pecking at their tiny smartphone keyboards. This is so clearly a bad user interface. It’s unnatural, error-prone, isolating, and non-ergonomic.

Interviewed by Monica Byrne for Damien Walter’s blog, December, 2014, Durham, North Carolina

In the’70s, when I was trying to publish my very first novel, Spacetime Donuts, I got a provoking comment from the SF master Frederik Pohl: “This is a fascinating read, but it’s not science fiction.” Naturally my feeling was that SF had to change. Indeed, much of the SF of that time seemed flat and uncool to me.

I was coming from a place where my favorite writers were Kerouac, Pynchon, Borges, and William Burroughs. I wanted to do the Beat thing of having my novels reflect my life; I wanted to have fabulous yet logical twists in my stories; and I wanted to use rich language. I believed in SF the same way I believed in rock’n’roll. Selling to the mainstream literary market wasn’t something I even wanted to try.

Eventually I was able to get Spacetime Donuts serialized in an SF zine. And then, early in the ‘80s, with White Light and Software, I was able to start publishing my SF novels in paperback. And then cyberpunk hit, and I had a few good years. My cyberpunk novels had a transreal core. Like in Software, the old man Cobb Anderson is modeled on my father. And the mad Sta-Hi Mooney, he’s a guy I used to hang around with. Of course, to some extent, both of these characters are me. As Phil Dick wrote in the afterword to his transreal A Scanner Darkly, “I myself, I am not a character in this novel: I am the novel.”

When I was younger, it made me uneasy to realize that I see the world differently than most people. Or at least I see things differently than most people admit to. And my oddball impressions of reality are something that I happen to be eager to talk about. Even though, at times, it feels like society’s forces are working to silence me.

But I was never the only outsider. I always have few bitter, rebellious friends whom I can relax with. Generally these are fellow mathematicians or hackers or SF writers.

At another level, I’ve come to realize that pretty much everyone alive has strange, idiosyncratic views. People pay lip service to the mind-controlling propaganda imposed upon them by the media—but deep down they don’t believe much of it. And that’s why there’s an audience for those who dare to step forward and speak.

Unconventional and transgressive ideas—they resonate with people. Momentarily surprised and awakened—an audience will laugh. It’s a laugh of recognition. My books tend to seem funny. But I’m not exactly a humorist. I’m trying to tell the truth.

***

Would I have thought of transrealism without drugs? Oh, sure. It’s not useful to try and reduce an artist’s ideas to drugs. Like, was Hieronymus Bosch high? Would it matter? You don’t really see other people painting like Bosch, no matter what they ingest.

This said, in the old days I did like smoking pot after hours, and I took psychedelics three or four times. Part of the appeal of getting high may be that it makes reality feel like SF. We tend to maintain an ongoing subconscious narrative about the world—naming and classifying the things we hear and see. When you disrupt that, you’re in a position to see the world raw, rather than seeing it as you’ve been taught.

And, as you mention, it’s possible to get into this mode of perception without being high. My writer friend Gregory Gibson terms this “the ongoing Venusian space-probe sensation.” It’s the sense that you’re seeing the world as if you’re a space probe sent by “Venusian” aliens, and you’re observing humans and their customs from the outside.

Interviewed by G. Brown for the fanzine nerds of a feather, flock together, May 2015, Los Angeles

Another angle for changing SF from within is to start writing about a set of ideas that haven’t really been touched upon yet. That’s a true and hardcore kind of SF endeavor. It’s not easy. You have to get yourself to look at the present day world with new eyes—as if you’re a Martian. You pretty much want to forget about all the SF plots and futurist-type prognostications. In the same sense that your characters shouldn’t mirror characters in existing works, your ideas shouldn’t mirror futurist ideas that you might read in magazines.

A good rule of thumb here is that if most people believe something—then it’s wrong. Consider: a hundred years ago, the human race pretty much didn’t know jack shit about science or modern technology. A hundred years from now, just about every single bit of tech that we’re using today is going to be gone. What’s going to replace it? Anything you want. Make up the weirdest shit you can think of. Be optimistic. Why not a new force of nature? Why not aliens from the subdimensions? Why not telepathy with every single object that you see?

Pile on the bullshit and keep a straight face. As the immortal David Lee Roth said, “It’s not who wins or loses—it’s how good you look.” If you and your friends can make your books fun and quirky, then maybe the soggy, stodgy SF ship of state will change its course.

Or maybe at this point it’s impossible to change the commercial genre known as SF. In 2015, there’s an alternate path. What if you sidestep the SF publishing niche, and shoot for mainstream publishing from the start?

It could be that the whole SF publishing industry is on its way out—or down. There will still be some great science-fiction books, yes, but they’ll be called something else. Transreal, visionary, speculative—like that. And the hidebound old trad SF label might really be fated to descend into subliterature. Maybe in ten years nobody will even consider publishing a good SF novel under the old SF rubric. Maybe the old category has been eaten by parasitic Martian blimps with electric news-crawl letters on their sides, or by institutional politics left and right, or, more simply, by cultural dynamics and the processes of media change.

It’s a bit sad. For me, it’s like I grew up in a nice small town—cue the silo-fulla-corn nostalgia routine—and I go back thirty years later and it’s all strip malls, and the city core is stone cold dead. As the Pretenders put it in My City Was Gone: “Ay, oh, where did you go, Ohio?”

The big loss for us mad-scientist, freakazoid, pinpoint-pupil SF nut-cases is that the mainstream market is harder to break into than SF publishing. Here in the nest it’s kinda okay for us to write funny. Me, back at the very start I was so daunted by the whole Brahmin Mandarin New Yorker vibe that I never tried selling into that market at all. I liked the idea of being an SF writer. I liked the image of being a rock and roll musician instead of an orchestra violinist.

But…if the orchestras are trying playing rock and roll, however ineptly, why not try for a gig with them? If you keep your soul, you’ll still be writing SF. Maybe better than before. Educating the squares. Showing them where it’s at.

Many paths, many futures.

Write on.

Interviewed by Liz Argall for Lightspeed, February, 2016, Seattle

Transrealism means writing fantasy or SF that is in some way based on your actual life. You’re steering clear of received media ideas and trying to write about your daily reality in a warped way. SF tropes become objective correlatives for your psychic drives. At times, I’ve based transreal novels on specific swatches of my personal history—such as college, say, or my experiences working at a software company. But these days I’m more likely to write what I call cubist transrealism. That is, I don’t go for a full reality-encrypted roman a clef. Instead I shatter my daily experiences into surreal frags and tessellate them into a tale. The juxtapositions generate the story and plot.

***

I think it might be easier to write a sad ending than a happy one. Sad or meh endings are a cultural default. People think a downer ending is tough, and hard, and realistic, and it’s bravely facing facts. So when you write a happy ending, you have to do it with the right touch, or people might think you’re corny or weak. But if you nail a happy ending, people like it. I almost always give my novels happy endings. People already know that life’s a bummer. So why rub that in their faces? We’re talking about escape literature, friends. Fairy tales. Entertainments.

Interviewed by Jeff Somers for B&N SciFi & Fantasy Blog, April, 2019, Hoboken

I’m blessed with a knack for drawing on both sides of my brain—the techy science side, and the dreamy literary side. I always wanted to be a writer. I was a huge fan of the SF master Robert Sheckley, and of the Beat author William Burroughs. And Jorge Luis Borges and Thomas Pynchon. And Flannery O’Connor. I studied math in college and grad school. Math always appealed to me. So clear and so intricate—the hidden machinery of the world. It is, as you say, a delicate balance to have a book be lively, with romance and fun characters—and also to have it be based on logical science ideas. In studying math, I learned about starting out with some set of assumptions like, say, Euclid’s postulates or the axioms of transfinite set theory, starting out with a set of rules and then deducing what follows from them. In my SF novels, I’ll make some wild, far-out initial assumptions. But from then it’s logical, and I get to see what ends up happening. I don’t really know in advance, not before I write the novel. That way it’s surprising and fun. I’m not trying to teach things to my readers. I want them to be amazed and to laugh and to be carried away.

***

An odd recent phenomenon is that lots of mainstream authors are writing SF. But they won’t admit it’s SF. Lifelong literary-SF writers like me find this … irritating. It’s like the upper crust authors can dip down into our world—but they don’t want to let us out. Even if we’re writing high lit. I always think of Kurt Vonnegut’s line, “I have been a soreheaded occupant of a file drawer labeled ‘science fiction’ … and I would like out, particularly since so many serious critics regularly mistake the drawer for a urinal.”

***

Let’s talk about the thought-experiment aspect of science fiction. When you turn your speculations into an SF story or novel, you go deep. You live in that imaginary world with your characters for weeks or months or even years. You unearth unforeseen glitches, and you move to higher levels of strange. Before I write a novel, I need an idea for something odd that I want to see happening.

One thing on my mind lately has been telepathy—I call it teep. I think it’s technically close enough that I could write about a teep biz startup. And I see a way to make it new. Another beckoning theme is politics. It’s stressful to write about that stuff. But these days, there’s a feeling that authors should speak up. So I plan to edit a special political SF issue of Flurb later this summer.

Looking further ahead, I want to write about a heretofore unnoticed force of nature. It’s at the subquantum level. It relates to dark energy, and to consciousness. And once we get it tune with it, we’ll have all the free energy we need, and we’ll be able to live inside electrons, like in my novel Jim and the Flims, and to predict the future from soap films, like in Mathematicians in Love, and to levitate, like in Million Mile Road Trip, and to talk to rocks, like in Hylozoic. But I know there’s something more than even that, something wilder and deeper, something super new that will, in retrospect, seem obvious and natural. We’ll be, like, why didn’t we think of that before! I hope the muse shows me.

Interviewed by Robert Penner for Big Echo, July 2019, Indiana, Pennsylvania,

Mathematics is a rich storehouse of shapes and processes and forms. You don’t necessarily have to be a trained mathematician to appreciate these riches. But you do have to read some popular math books.

The biggest new technique for exploring math is computer simulation. Realtime self-generating graphics. I’m an avid devotee of continuous-valued cellular automata. They’re like gnarlier, funkier versions of Conway’s classic Game of Life. I put these into my early cyberpunk novel Software—as constantly moving patterns within the piezoplastic skins of my robots.

Chaos, fractals, and Stephen Wolfram’s work have changed the way I see the world, and the way I think about it. I wrote about this in my non-fiction tome The Lifebox, the Seashell, and the Soul.

It’s kind of hard to explain the ideas in just a few words. A key insight is that that any interesting natural process—like an ocean wave, or a leaf twitching in a breeze—a process like this is fundamentally unpredictable. It’s too complex and gnarly for there ever to be a quick, short-cut way to know in advance what it’ll do next. But, and here’s the kicker, these processes are not random. Unpredictable, but not random.

That’s also the nature of your mind. You don’t know what you’ll do next. But that doesn’t mean you’re mentally flipping a coin. You’re like a chaotic, incompressible computation. Things emerge. You’re dancing with nature’s gnarl.

A mathematical idea or a story is elegant if it looks simple and clear, but a lot of deep thought that was needed to create it.

It’s hard to do this because you can’t think faster than you can think. Especially if you’re doing something like writing a story or designing a math gem. You’re running at the maximum possible flop. Your only hopes of a happy outcome lie in experience, patience and grace. And if it comes together—it’s elegant. A gift from the Muse.

Interviewed by Cody Goodfellow for Forbidden Futures, November, 2020, Portland

When I was younger, there was a certain default space-opera future that SF was supposed to be about. And cyberpunk was about breaking out of that. Fuck the Space Navy! Misfits doing crazy shit, that’s where it’s at.

I’ve done pretty well. Better than I expected as a raw youth. I used to nurse that less-than-famous writer’s dream of future veneration—a dream that’s like believing in Heaven, or Santa Claus. I’ve let that dream go. Even if it happened, what good would it do me when I’m dead?

I’m just glad I can still write at all, here and now—and be read. And if I get a real publisher with a real advance that’s great. And if not, I’ve learned how to do a Kickstarter to get some money for the book, and how to self-pub paperback and ebook editions. I don’t know if everyone realizes that you can actually do that for free. It took me awhile to figure it out. I call my imprint Transreal Books. So either way, I get my books out there. I won’t shut up.

For me, stuff like space-travel feels used up. Unless you were to do the space travel in a car instead of in a spaceship—like I did in my recent Million Mile Road Trip. But there’s so much that’s untouched. Biotech has endless possibilities, and there’s ubiquitous physical computation, and the hylozoic notion that everything is alive. See my pair of novels Postsingular and Hylozoic for more about that.

And I keep wanting to write about that totally new thing that we know someone is going to discover in the next hundred years, and I keep not quite getting there, but by dint of making the effort to think that hard, I’m finding new stuff. Not actual “true scientific theories,” but fun ideas like new kinds of wind-up toys. The store is big.

For decades I read Scientific American to keep an eye on what’s new. But sadly they’ve turned to shit—small fonts and articles about—gak—sociology and political policy and economics? As if. Nowadays it’s enough to keep a loose eye on Twitter, and see the wonders trundling past—like a holiday parade that never ends. Grab hold of anything you see—and tweak it a little bit, and make it your own. Connect it in some way to your actual personal life—that’s the move I call transrealism. And go a little meta—that’s a trickier tactic I’m always trying to master—flip your idea up a level, and into something having to do with states of consciousness, or with the nature of language, or with the meaning of dreams. Go further out. There’s still so much. We’re just getting started.

Poems: “Light Fuse And Get Away”

Tuesday, February 1st, 2022

These poems were my way of beginning to be a writer. I wrote them in two batches. The first batch came during 1975-1978 while I was teaching math at the state college of Geneseo, in upstate New York—the five of us: Sylvia, me, and our three kids. I’d read my poems at English department readings.

Then we went to Heidelberg, Germany, for two years, on a math research grant. I didn’t write any poems in Germany. I’d lit the fuse. I wrote SF stories, two SF novels, and part of my nonfiction Infinity and the Mind. On our return, we ended up in Lynchburg, Virginia, where I was again a math professor, and then a fulltime writer after I lost that teaching job. Sylvia was a sign-painter, and then a high-school teacher.

The second batch of poems is from the period, 1980-1982. Encouraged by our Lynchburg poet friends Mary Molyneux Abrans, Cornelius Eady, and the great Anselm Hollo, I self-published my poems as a chapbook Light Fuse And Get Away (Carp Press 1983). Eventually I reprinted the poems in my anthology Transreal (WCS Books, 1991), now long out of print. So here they are again, with some photos from those times.

By the way the “cambridge room” in the first poem was my frigid home office in a nook behind our kitchen in Geneseo. Where it all began.



a cambridge room
electric fires gone burning
and the cord is too short
and the plastic is gone
all this
all
this in my filthy mind

—April, 1975



President Discharged in Storm

The night Nixon made his resignation speech I was staying at my friend Greg’s place in
Gloucester. Greg’s one appliance was his tiny portable radio which
plugged into the wall. There was
an electrical storm and we heard
Sferics
Whistlers
Frequency modulated by and large
On a three-day snake-thru, check your local papers,
Unprintable!
Mister Presidents piece, though,
All down in yesterday’s paper

—July, 1975



Winter Weekends

The baby crawls after me crying
the others are screaming in the yard, it’s cold and dirty outside, and in,
yellow electric light crumbs broken things, broken things.

I had the last beer my thoughts are a little numb
there’s no money for more
winter weekends

We’ll watch TV straight
tonight, together, the
evil fuzzed images using
us, using our silence

We’re knotted into now
rules and hot anger
in the cold
red knuckles white
winter weekends
it’s the same difference.

Last weekend something happened, though,
I went to the hospital
from eating a mushroom
from the yard’s cracked plastic, paper scraps, yellow light
mushroomed to an echoed memory
from nowhere

All the children are outside the dripping cave
calling to the crumbling, puffy boy inside
crumbs of mushroom sweet on my lips,
the children are calling.

—September, 1975



Bosch’s St. Anthony

I go into the woods
across a road, a fence, a field.
Cow paths, mud, cloven hooves.
I shit in the bushes.
It smokes in the fall air.
There are holes in the ground.
I walk deeper in, get scared.
Guess I’ll climb this oak.
I have no control and fly right up.
The tree runs out in rot at the top.
Leathery leaves cover my face, mouth and eyes—
Why am I here?
Walking silent again, something
catches my eye. A head askew,
Gray face watching me.
Lined, eyes slit. I can’t see that.
So it profiles back in a knothole
and I miss it . . . the goblin
Who chased me up the oak
is in the world for sure, I saw.
But what sees me for real in indifferent thicket?

I find a hollowed tree,
the leaves fall, I sit

Occasionally picking myself out in the haze

—October, 1975



Kurt Gödel

I phoned him up the other day,
And we talked about Set Theory,
He proved all the big theorems during the Depression.

Gave me a shot of the old-time religion,
“You should do real mathematics,
The true scientist must believe in the Absolute.”

“One pushes upwards into an empty city.” ‘s what
The Ching had remarked when
Urging me to call him.

After the call I smoked a reefer and
Wondered what to do in the empty city—
Real mathematics does not apply to the world.

But which is empty?

—November, 1975



At dancing school
My brother would rub his stiff dick
On their legs—
Me, I never got as much as him,
But I got by—
Talking about group theory, say,
On a train to the Seattle World’s fair—
Once there I threw one penny at the paint spots and won, incredibly,
A Space-Needle lighter,
Shiny, a foot tall, worthless—
they had a nice exhibit on General Relativity,
I lied my way into a tit show—
Curved space
Curved space

—December, 1975



Winter Wastes

I’m looser,
We’re back in love
Thick pucker.
Bird blows his ax and it’s
Yellow light here. There’s time.
Last night I dreamed I tripped—
The crowd thinned out around dawn.
The washer’s working, and the sink too,
I’m playing my new 1.99 Charlie Parker record,
It’s a jazz-track movie in here—
My role is still unclear.

—December, 1975



Drunken-Hearted Man

She softens
Paved with dizzy pics I drive
Deep into Egypt—
Unca Scrooge & Donald have the
Treasure wing-tucked and we
Fuck again the winter’s ending.

–February, 1976



She Got a Phonograph

In the “classical limit”
Life is lived like books, like movies
We do our funky chicken—flour and wine,
Say that really, all the times anyone is
Is one time.
Do you matter more or less?

It’s winter once or again, here or there,
My weak lungs are going up in smoke and
Sweet green sputum—Zauberberg kind of scene,
Brains and balls all mixed up in the soft heat,
Trying to make it real it gets so weird.
Relax.

Yeah, written off, still alive,
Hi life extras on the set, star-fucked, we live together, its sunny, Outside the Speed museum in Louisville the Thinker sez slide.
Hey—the ant-farm is open!

—February, 1976




Lucifer

On my thirtieth birthday I got Helen-Keller drunk
In the scaffolding of that tower of Babel
I’d planned to fuck god with my old gang Of mind assassins who did melt (from)

I fell through frozen time to this parched island.

The beach night of eternal star
Sea of possibility and infinite spacetime
Mists on the Earth—What a laugh,
To sell answers in paperback,
When you see god
Only piss to mark the spot.

To continue I wanted to go undersea. Waiting
suicidal and hungover alone in the sun’s blare,
Fuck-ups, fuck-ups—aaaahhh
Watching my watch.

Island time dilates and now
I’m 120 feet down
In the gray blue brown invertebrate kingdom

The sun’s a glint a shot away
My bubbles are like eyes like saucers
Satan’s laughter sounds in my inner ear
Again
The guide swims deeper.

—March, 1976

 


 


i)

This poem proclaims the odor of
Are there any smells you like?
Antarctica could melt.

ii)

“The universal rain moistens all creatures”
B B B B dddddrrrrrrt ttttt t
This hick burg’s got no train you dig
I’m trapped here with Patty Hearst
We should leave, but
There’s no

iii)

I was on the
IND and the
LSD had shot me up with
CIA
Brother it was
AOK coming down in my
BVDs.

iv)

After the muse left
I kept on
the party got rough
oh . . . it’s a new day
grey’n’brown
old turds out from under the snow
sing, “We love you.”

—February, 1977

 



Thirty-One

Spring vacation, and rain turning to sleet.
A perfect day to walk down the Court Street hill,
Smoking this three-dimensional day.

At some point, near the dump, I leave the road
and the cars and their drivers and their thoughts,
And splash through the reeking meadow.

Standing under a bare tree I can look up to see
Drops gather on the undersides of high branches
Then follow spacetime geodesics of visual growth.

A rock, a bend in the stream . . . I stand dissolving
More and more merged, less and less there and
I put my finger on the clit, fovea, itch or pain,

The flaw, the source, the singularity,
The lurking fear, the shotgun blast, the mad-house,
The scream, the knot, the egg I never saw.

I push on it and in the afterimage of the pain
find surcease. It feels good.

I walk off in the pouring rain, thirty-one years old.

—April, 1977



The 1976 Circus

The circus was great.
They had 15 elephants and on them was, alternating,
men dressed like clowns and
women dressed like strippers just
bumping along to that elephant gait, hands on hips and
Shufflin’ Sam the elephant loose in his baggy skin hauls ass

For the finale of the Bicentennial Parade
they had a liberty bell hanging down.
And this gorgeous thing in one of those
fantastic gold circus suits all tucked into the
crack of her powerful acrobat’s ass bites
the clapper of the Liberty Bell and
is pulled up to a height of some 30 feet spinning!

While the band plays and sparklers go off and
the midget dressed like Benjamin Franklin does a jig.

Outside, somewhere in the straw,
the Human Caterpillar tosses fitfully.
The girl is still spinning.

April, 1977


 


White Saturday & Sunday Morning

Its comfortable to be here with
ordinary words
It gives a feeling that there is a way out of me
Look
I can tell you, dreamer,
lonesome dreamer,
Last night on the railroad
In New Brunswick cafeteria
Zooted roast-beef edges
Switch train back switch
Sparks
the bodies drop
Spirits you can’t see are
Transmuting horribly out of the innocent flesh
A snake that flies
Death is a snake that flies.
But they never quite get me—And if they did?
Is it already over?
Voices in the white
I saw the Stones last week
Voices in the white
I could hear them past the music
whited out
whited out
To go beyond these things, more dead than alive,
To go beyond

&

I feel pretty good, considering.
It’s warming up and
I threw out the neighbor kids.
Mine are lying on the yard blanket &
Baby’s upstairs for her nap.
I will be there in the morning if I live.

—May, 1977



This Year

Last week I got off the thruway
at Amsterdam. Postoffice and Cityhall were closed,
I found the graveyard near a wedding.

Benjamin Paul Blood was his name a hundred years ago
GREETING—IF THOU HAST KNOWN! ’s what
he wanted on his headstone

All I found where that crow landed was
a mass grave, pitiful tiny markers clustered,
number 521 . . . if thou hast known.

On the one hand you have the One
On the other hand, the hand & body & other bodies.
Blood studied interface enlightenment.

The secret, “All is One,” is readily expressed.
The Manyness of the world is easily noted.
In between is the interface, seen only in passing.

Me, I was out in those drifts the night of the big storm,
watching the distant ice-dust wrapping Martian curves.
I froze solid except for one electron.
2 days later I was lying in a tree in Wadsworth’s field
seeing at last how the mind is infinite,
Imagining a national examination to test this knowledge.

In the world, the ashes of my neighbor’s house sift by.
The leaves of her charred books are blowing around.
She is not coming back.
I was the first to see the flames that night
when we busted the windows with our ladder the smoke was alive and
she was screaming, covered over and over in black.

I live in Geneseo. I go to church. I have a family.
These things are real. These things are real.

—May, 1978



For Sylvia on Our 11th Anniversary

Yelling and laughing
Onstage at the Yiddische
Vaudeville. It’s mostly
Laughter today, a good
Day to be here—in the
Eleventh row, picking a
Back tooth with the Ticket stub. Those three
Ushers are really short. They
Lean onto the stage reaching
Towards the leading lady,
Voluptuous and comic by turns.
She’s vamping him
You can see her panties’ outline
Clear from the eleventh row.
He’s a shabby professor, his
Head in the clouds and
Slips of paper fall from
his baggy pants billowing
As he walks down the aisle
Past those noisy little ushers
And she lifts her veil—her
Mouth is wide and friendly, a
Strong face, a good face—
His eyes pop and he juggles
Three grapefruits he had in those
Baggy pants—she palms her hair,
Her hip juts—he jerks his
Untidy head and the grapefruits
Disappear into the fourth dimension
Or something—She’s glowing now
And the ushers can see them smooching
As the curtain slowly falls.

June, 1978



Repatriate

They’re all asleep. Father, wife, children . . . I wander
down the stairs. Often they cry out, my father the most,
my first daughter . . . they cry out and I act or not.
Light purple flames, germany, leather, acid, novels,
being cool is for itself,
my father: “I always know what people will say.”

December, 1980



Causes of Blindness

A champagne cork
Exploding marijuana seed
Viewing solar eclipses
Staring at the sun on acid
Breaking coke bottles with rocks
Snowballs
(Oh get it over with)
Sharp sticks
Firecrackers
Oral sex with syphilitics
Reading in dim light
Living forever in the dark
“Generation by generation the eyes migrate upwards”
Too much light forever in the dark

December, 1981



The New Office

boxes of books and papers packed
unpacked left alone
she helps me, making it
clean as home, the
changing home we move
across the face of the
Earth scrubbing it With eyes and hands no
place for the Ruckers or
any place at all really,
just so’s I can plug in my
machine, my heart, my
home center that Sylvia
and I pass back and
forth like a glass of
water, carried all over
earth, still full.

—July, 1982



The Aether

It is nice not to feel your body as a heap of rocks
a pile of concrete blocks,
sloan-kettering cancer research snippets,
odds and ends,
radio tubes
BUT RATHER
as a smooth foamy mass,
a breezy cloud of balloons
(tripping people often feel the wind blow through them)
a ripple on the bosom of Gods sea

September, 1982



new ream
of paper from downtown office supplies,
stepped out again, flaneur, vadroilleuse Marx
Brother in the big city, hully-gee a bank and
Next to is coming down a theater
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – thubbbbbb***
Inertia! The hot sun. On the exposed inner rear wall
Reveals a scene, millimeters thick, fragile utopia
40’s children’s dream-window
oh, fields and people in robes
I guess- – – – – – – – – – – – – – – thubb*
Tomorrow it’s still gonna be there,
There’s time to take pictures yet.

Your letter came today—
Yes, yes, me too.

October, 1982


 

How To Write: What SF Writers Want

Wednesday, January 19th, 2022

You can have anything you want. But what do you want?

Some of the appeal of SF comes from its association with the old idea of the Magic Wish. Any number of fairy tales deal with a hero (humble woodcutter, poor fisherman, disinherited princess) who gets into a situation where he or she is free to ask for any wish at all, with assurance that the wish will be granted. Reading such a tale, the reader inevitably wonders, “What would I wish for?” It’s pleasant to fantasize about having such great power; and thinking about this also provides an interesting projective psychological test.

Some SF stories hinge on the traditional Magic Wish situation — the appearance of a machine (= magic object) or an alien (= magic being) who will grant the main character’s wishes. But more often, the story takes place after the wish has been made . . . by whom? By the author.

What I mean here is that, in writing a book, an SF writer is in a position of being able to get any Magic Wish desired. If you want time travel in your book . . . no problem. If you want flying, telepathy, size-change, etc., then you, as SF writer, can have it — not in the real world, of course, but in the artificial, written world into which you project your thoughts.

To make my point quite clear, let me recall a conversation I once had with a friend in Lynchburg. “Wouldn’t it be great,” my friend was saying, “if there were a machine that could bring into existence any universe you wanted, with any kinds of special powers. A machine that could call up your favorite universe, and then send you there.” “There is such a machine,” I answered. “It’s called a typewriter.”

Okay. So the point I want to start from here is the notion that, in creating a novelistic work, the writer is basically in a position of being able to have any wish whatsoever granted.

What kinds of things do we, as SF writers, tend to wish for? What sorts of possibilities seem so attractive to us that we are willing to spend the months necessary to bring them into the pseudoreality of a polished book? What kinds of needs underlie the wishes we make?

In discussing this, my basic assumption is that the driving force behind our SF wishes is a desire to find a situation wherein one might happy . . . whatever “happy” might mean for any particular writer.

There are, of course, a variety of very ordinary ways to wish for happiness: wealth, sexual attractiveness, political power, athletic prowess, sophistication, etc. I’m not going to be too interested in these types of wishes here — because such wishes are not peculiar to the artform of SF. Any number of standard paperback wish-fulfillments deal with characters whom the author has wished into such lower-chakra delights.

No, the kind of wishes I want to think about here are the weird ones — wishes that have essentially no chance of coming true — wishes that are really worth asking for.

I can think of four major categories of SF wishes, each with several subcategories:

(1) Travel.
(1.1) Space travel. (1.2) Time travel. (1.3) Changing size scale. (1.4) Travel to other universes

(2) Psychic powers.
(2.1) Telepathy. (2.2) Telekinesis.

(3) Self-change.
(3.1) Immortality. (3.2) Intelligence increase. (3.3) Shape shifting.

(4) Aliens.
(4.1) Robots. (4.2) Saucer aliens.

Let’s look at these notions one at a time.

(1) Travel.

Your position relative to the universe can perhaps be specified in terms of four basic parameters: (1.1) space-location, (1.2) time-location, (1.3) your size, and (1.4) which universe you’re actually in. Our powers to alter these parameters are very limited. Although it is possible to change space-location, this is hard and slow work. We travel in time, but only in one direction, and only at one fixed speed. In the course of a lifetime, our size changes, but only to a small extent. And jumping back and forth among parallel universes is a power no one even pretends to have. Let’s say a bit about the ways in which science fiction undertakes to alter each of these four stubborn parameters.

(1.1) Space travel. Faster-than-light drives, matter transmission, and teleportation are all devices designed to annihilate the obdurate distances of space. One might almost say that these kind of hyper-jumping devices turn space into time. You no longer worry about how far something is, you just ask when you should show up.

Would happiness finally be mine if I could break the fetters of space? I visualize a kind of push-button phone-dial set into my car’s dashboard, and imagine that by punching in the right sequence of digits I can get anywhere. (Actually, the very first SF story I ever read was a Little Golden Book called The Magic Bus. I read it in the second grade. The Bus had just one special button on the dash, and each push on the button would take the happily tripping crew to a new randomly selected locale. Of course — ah, if only it were still so easy — everyone got home to Mom in time for supper and bed.) That would be fun, but would it be enough? And what is enough, anyway?

In terms of the Earth, power over space is already, in a weak sense, ours. If it matters enough to you, you can actually travel anywhere on Earth — it’s not instantaneous, using cars and planes, but you do get there in a few days. Even easier, by using a telephone, you can actually project part of yourself (ears and voice) to any place where there’s someone to talk to. But these weak forms of Earth-bound space travel are the domain of travel writing and investigative journalism, not of SF.

Hyperjumping across space would be especially useful for travel to other planetary civilizations. One underlying appeal in changing planets would be the ability to totally skip out on all of one’s immediate problems, the ability to get out of a bad situation. “Color me gone,” as some soldiers reportedly said, getting on the plane that would take them away from Viet Nam and back to the U.S. “I’m out of here, man, I’m going back to the world.” Jumping to a far-distant planet would involve an escape from real life, and certainly SF is, to some extent, a literature of escape.

(1.2) Time travel. I once asked Robert Silverberg why time travel has fascinated him so much over the years. He said that he felt the desire to go back and make good all of one’s major life-errors and past mistakes. I tend to look at this a little more positively — I think a good reason for wanting to go back to the past is the desire to re-experience the happy times that one has had. The recovery of lost youth, the revisiting of dead loved ones.

A desire to time travel to an era before one’s birth probably comes out of a different set of needs than does a desire to travel back to earlier stages of one’s own life. People often talk about the paradoxes involved in going back to kill their ancestors — this gets into the territory of parricide and matricide. And a sublimated desire for suicide informs the tales about directly killing one’s past self. Other time travel stories talk about going back to watch one’s parents meeting — I would imagine that this desire has something to do with the old Freudian concept of witnessing the “primal scene.”

What about time travel to the future? This comes, I would hazard, out of a desire for immortality. To still be here, long after your chronological death.

To a lesser extent than with space, we have some slight power over time: each day you live through brings you one day further into the future, and going to sleep is a way of making the future come “sooner.” And one of the appeals of marijuana is that it can time seem to pass slower, making the future come “later.” And of course, a session of intensely focused recollection can make the past briefly seem alive. (Thus Proust, thus psychoanalysis.)

As with power over space, we must question whether power over time is really enough to wish for. Eventually, both of these powers simply boil down to having a special sort of “car” which enables you to jump here and there, checking out weirder and weirder scenes.

(1.3) Changing size scale. Without having to actually travel through space or time, one could see entirely new vistas simply by shrinking to the size of a microbe. Alternatively, one might try growing to the size of a galaxy.

One problem with getting very big is that you might accidentally crush the Earth, and have nothing to come back to. I prefer the idea of shrinking. What need in me does this speak to? On a sexual level, the notion of getting very small is probably related to an Oedipal desire to return to the peaceful and ultra-sexual environment of the womb. On a social level, getting small connotes the idea of being so low-profile as to be unhassled by the brutal machineries of law and fame. Economically speaking, being small suggests independence — if I were the size of a thumb, my food bills would be miniscule. A single can of beer would be the equivalent of a full keg!

I would like to be able to get as small as I liked, whenever I wanted to. But would it be enough? Would I be happy then? Probably not. After a week or so, it would get as old as anything else.

(1.4) Travel to other universes. In a way, all three of the powers just mentioned are special instances of being able to jump into a different universe. Most of what was said about space travel applies here. Of course, travel to alternate universes can also be taken in a very broad sense which includes travel into higher-dimensional spaces and the like.

One’s place in the world seems to be fixed by such factors as income and ability — in another world, things might be so much more pleasant. Rich people and poor people live in different worlds — on a crude level, winning a state lottery can act as a ticket to a different universe. A dose of a psychedelic drug can, of course, accomplish an equally dramatic (but temporary) transportal — this is one reason why people take them.

The drug issue raises the fact that the universe is not entirely objective. To a large extent, the way your world seems is conditioned by the way you feel about it. Keep in mind that I think the driving force behind all of the SF travel-wishes is a desire to find a place/time/size/universe in which to be happy. Rather than asking for a different world, one might equally well ask for a way to enjoy this world.

(2) Psychic powers.

Travel is only the first category of SF wishes. Psychic power is the second of the four main categories mentioned above. What might we take to be the main types of SF psychic-power wishes? Let’s try these: (2.1) telepathy, and (2.2) telekinesis.

(2.1) Telepathy. Supposedly, God can see everything at once — God is omniscient. Telepathy is a type of omniscience, particularly if we imagine it as extended to include clairvoyance. It would definitely be pleasant to know everything — to be plugged totally into the cosmos as a whole. I guess it would be pleasant — actually, it might get boring. The omniscient gods of our myths and religions do seem a bit restless.

On a more personal level, I think of telepathy as standing for a situation where you are in perfect accord and communion with someone else. This often happens when one is alone with a good friend or a loved one. These moments are, I would hazard, as close to real happiness as one ever gets. The desire for telepathy is basically a desire for love and understanding.

Of course, what one often sees in SF telepathy stories is the hero or heroine being overwhelmed by the inputs from everyone else’s minds. You want to understand the people you love — the others you’d just as soon not know about.

As with the case of space-travel, telepathy is a faculty that we already, to some extent, have. By talking or by writing, I am able to get someone to share my state of mind; by listening or by reading, I can learn to understand others. Maybe we already have enough telepathy as it is.

(2.2) Telekinesis. Not only is God omniscient, S/He is omnipotent. Given a really strong telekinetic (also known as psychokinetic or PK) ability, you would be, in effect, able to control anything going on in the world.

This power appeals to me very little. I don’t want to control the world — I just want to enjoy it. I don’t need to run it, it’s doing a decent job by itself. Of course, a person with less self-doubt might find PK very attractive.

As with telepathy, I might also point out that we already have PK in a limited form. I stare fixedly at the cigarettes on my desk. I concentrate. Moments later a lit cigarette is in my mouth! (Does the fact that, by sheer force of will, I caused my material hand to pick up the cigarettes and light one make my feat less surprising?)

There is one special sort of telekinesis that I do find very appealing. This is the ability to levitate. All my life I have dreamed of flying — as far as I’m concerned, the ability to fly is right up there with the ability to shrink.

But what is so special about flying? Flying involves being high off the ground, and most everyone likes the metaphor of being high — in the sense of euphoria, elation, and freedom from worry. Rising above the mundane. Freud used to claim that flying dreams have some connection with sex, and I suppose that a good act of sexual intercourse does feel something like flying. And of course, flying would provide some of the same benefits that teleportation would, as discussed under (1.1) above.

(3) Self change.

Under this vaguely titled category, I include: (3.1) immortality, (3.2) intelligence increase, and (3.3) shape shifting, or the ability to change the shape of one’s body.

(3.1) Immortality. This is a key wish. As soon as we are born, we are presented with what I have elsewhere called the fundamental koan: “Hi, you’re alive now, isn’t it nice? Someday it will all stop and you will be dead. What are you going to do about it?” The fear of death is up there with the need for love as one of the really basic human drives.

One problem with immortality might be that you would at some point get bored. I’ve occasionally been so depressed that I’ve thought to myself, “Death is the only thing that makes life bearable,” meaning that if I thought I was going to have to be here forever, I just wouldn’t be able to stand it. (Though if you couldn’t die, and you couldn’t stand it, what could you do? Not a bad premise for an SF story . . .)

There are various sorts of immortality, short of the real thing, that we do comfort ourselves with. Let me list them, as I’ve thought about this a lot:

(3.1.1) Genetic immortality. If you have children, then your DNA code will still be around, even after you die. Later descendants may look and/or act like you — which means that the pattern you call “me” will still be, to some extent, present in the world.

(3.1.2) Artistic immortality. A human being consists (at least) of hardware (= the body) plus software (= the ideas). In creating a work of art, you code up some of your software. A person reading one of your books is something like a computer running a program that you wrote. As long as the person is looking at your book and thinking along the lines which the book suggests, then that person is, in some degree, a simulation of you, the author.

(3.1.3) Social immortality. Even if you have no children and leave no works of art, you will still, in the course of your life, have contributed in various ways to the society in which you found yourself. Perhaps you were a teacher, and you affected some students. Perhaps you sold clothes, and you influenced what people wore. Even if you had no direct influences, you were, to some extent, a product of the society that you lived in, and so long as this society continues to exist you still have a slight kind of immortality in that the society will continue to produce people somewhat like you.

(3.1.4) Racial immortality. This is similar to (3.1.1) and (3.1.3); similar to (3.1.1) if one takes cousins into account, similar to (3.1.3) if one views the human race as a single large society.

(3.1.5) Spacetime immortality. This perception of immortality hinges on the viewpoint that time is not really passing. Past-present-future all co-exist in a single four dimensional “block universe.” Today (May 14, 1984) will always exist, outside of time, and thus I will always exist as well.

(3.1.6) Mathematical immortality. It is abstractly possible to imagine coding my body and brain up by a very large array of numbers. This is analogous to the way in which extremely complex computer programs are embodied in machine-language patterns of zeroes and ones. The numerical description of me may in fact be infinite — no matter. The main thing is that this numerical coding can be represented as a mathematical set. And the Platonic school of the foundations of mathematics teaches that mathematical sets exist independently of the physical world. Therefore, long after I am dead, I will still have a permanent existence as a mathematical possibility.

(3.1.7) Mystical immortality. At the most profound level, I do not feel myself to be just my body, or just my mind. I feel, at this deepest level, that I am simply a part of the One, a facet of the Absolute. The disappearance of my body will mean only that the ever-changing One has changed its form a bit.

(3.1.8) Religious immortality. Who knows — maybe we do have souls that God will take care of. This belief is in some ways like the idea of mathematical immortality. When the good thief asked Jesus to “Remember me,” perhaps he meant it more literally than is usually realized.

(3.2) Intelligence increase. The idea of having a vastly increased intelligence is certainly attractive — particularly to people who already take pleasure in the life of the mind. One difficulty in writing SF about vastly increased intelligence is that it is hard for us to imagine — or to write about — what that would involve.

What does the wish for more intelligence really mean? It is somehow akin to the wish to be much bigger in size — a wish to include more of the universe in one’s scope of comprehension.

Pushed to the maximum, a desire for increased intelligence is a desire omniscience or perhaps a wish to know “the Secret of Life.” What would it be like to know the Secret of Life? Somehow I have the image of an orgasm that goes on and on, a never-ending torrent of blinding enlightenment. It sounds nice, but we do need contrasts to be able to perceive.

(3.3) Shape shifting. One form of this wish is analogous to the intellectual’s wish for more intelligence. An athletically-inclined person might naturally wish to be a world-class athlete; and a physically attractive person might wish to be a Hollywood star. In each case, it’s a matter of wanting to be better at what one already does well. We might also include here a compassionate person’s desire to be saintly, and an artist’s desire to be truly great.

Why should we want to be the best? The drive for excellence seems to be wired in way down there — it’s good for the race, within limits.

The kind of shape shifting I really had in mind here, though, was things like turning into a dog. You could really get a lot of slack if you could totally change your appearance at will. For me, this one is right up there with flying and shrinking: the ability to change my body at will. It would be so interesting to see the world through a dog’s eyes, or through another kind of person’s eyes.

What need is this one coming from? Wanting a diversity of experience, I guess. A desire to break out of the personality-mold inflicted on me by my specific body’s appearance and habits.

(4) Aliens.

By aliens, I mean two kinds of beings: (4.1) robots, and (4.2) saucer aliens.

(4.1) Robots. Intelligent robots will be very exciting — if we’re ever able to evolve them. One aspect is that if we can bring intelligent life into being, then we will better understand what we ourselves are like. Another angle that appeals to me is that, given intelligent robots, it would be possible to program one to be just like me, so that I would then have yet another type of immortality to access.

In some ways, we think of robots as being like the ideal sorts of people that don’t really exist. The notion of a happy, obedient, intelligent slave, for instance. Given human nature, no such human slave is possible. But still we hope to build a machine like this. Such hopes are, no doubt, doomed for disappointment. A machine smart enough to act human will be unlikely to settle for being a slave.

Another thing that makes robots attractive is the notion that they might always be rational. People are so rarely rational — but why is this? Not because we wouldn’t like to be rational. The real reason is that the world is so complex, one’s data are so slight, and so many decisions are required. Full rationality is, in a formal sense, impossible for us — and it will, I fear, be impossible for the robots as well.

There’s another SF tradition of writing about computer brains; here instead of intelligent robots, the vision is of a very large computer brain which is seemingly very wise and just. It is as if we humans might be hoping to build the God-the-Father whom we fear no longer exists. In most such stories the god-computer turns out to be evil, either like a cruel dictatorship or like a blandly uncaring bureaucracy. But this leads us out of the domain of things that writers wish for.

(4.2) Saucer aliens. I loosely use the phrase “saucer aliens” to include any kind of creatures that might show up on Earth, either from space, from underground, or from another dimension.

In C. G. Jung’s classic book on UFO’s, he makes the point that, in popular mythology, saucer aliens play much the same role that angels did in the Middle Ages. [C. G. Jung, Flying Saucers: A Modern Myth of Things Seen in the Skies, Princeton University Press, Princeton 1958. See my Saucer Wisdom for further discussion.]

There is a hope that no matter how evil and messed up things might get on Earth, there are still some higher forces who might step in and fix everything. The UFO aliens are, perhaps, replacements for the gods we miss, or for our parents who have grown old and weak.

Another very important strand in thinking about saucer aliens is the element of sexual attraction. A key element to sexual attraction is the idea of otherness. An alien stands for something wholly outside of yourself that is, perhaps, willing to get close to you anyway. This drive is probably hard-wired into us for purposes of exogamy: it’s genetically unwise to mate with people so similar to you that they might be your cousins.

It is interesting in this context to note how some rock-groups try to give an impression of being aliens.

Of course, Earth is already full of aliens — other races, other sexes, other backgrounds. By constantly striving to broaden one’s circle of under-standing, one can begin to see the world in a variety of ways.

So — those are some of the things that SF writers want. Undoubtedly, I’ve left out some important types of SF wishes, and it may be that some other pattern of classifying SF dreams is more enlightening. One thing that I do find surprising is that it is at all possible to begin a project of this nature. When one first comes to SF, there is a feeling of unlimited possibility — what is startling is how few basic SF themes there really are. As indicated, I think most of our favorite themes appeal to us for reasons that are psychological.

As long as I’m whipped up into this taxonomic mania for systemizing things, let me suggest that the psychology of human behavior is based upon avoiding Three Bad Things, and upon seeking Three Good Things that are the respective opposites of the Bad Things.

The Three Bad Things might be called Jail, Madness, and Death — and the Three Good Things would be Change, Slack, and Love. I mean “Jail” here in the sense of any kind of imprisonment or dulling routine, and I mean “Slack” in the sense of serenity and inner peace.

— Appeared in The Bulletin of the Science Fiction Writers of America, Spring, 1985, in Seek!, Runnng Press, 1999, and in Collected Essays, Transreal Books, 2012.


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