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Official UFOlogy, Richard Kadrey Novel Online

Friday, April 8th, 2005

Here’s a nice picture of a crashed saucer and its dead alien pilot that I found on a website about the real men in black.

In this vein, I went to the National Security Agencey website, searched for UFOs, and found this very X-files list of official (?) UFO documents.. The best one was a report on how to survive the UFOs.

I’m researching this, as I need for some Fox/Muldaur/Men-in-Black types to point out to Bela that the alien cone shells are visible in the video logs of his dead girlfriend’s sunglasses.

****

[Photo of Richard Kadreyl.]

On another front, Richard Kadrey has posted a great new novel called Blind Shrike in PDF form for free download at the Infinite Matrix online SF site.

It’s a hard-boiled cyberpunk fantasy novel set in today's grungy San Francisco — odd that nobody thought of doing this before. Great fun.

Micronesia 20: Pahn Takai, I'm Fully Retired.

Wednesday, April 6th, 2005

The last of the Micronesia entries.

***

It rained a lot in the night, but was sunny in the morning. Rain-fed Eden. I drove alone about five miles to the Pahn Takai (means Under Rock) waterfall just past the U municipal center. (U is a minimally short place-name.) I met a guide there — Jamie, our hotelier had phoned him — he was a short Pohnpeian named Danny. Wearing mismatched flip-flops and an athletic shirt, he led me into the jungle. Sakau plants lined the path, they have knobby stalks and heart-shaped leaves. Danny said that although he didn't like sakau, in Pohnpei they say if you drink sakau, you're a real man. The same old line laid down everywhere.

We came to some two hundred foot cliffs in the side of the mountain, a hundred yards wide, the rocks slanting out, so that when we walked along the base, the lip beetled way out over us. There was a veil waterfall, waving back and forth in the wind. Caves at the base of the cliff with fruit bats living in them.

On visiting this site, you had to place a fresh leaf on an altar at the base the waterfall, for if you didn't, the cliff would fall on you the next time you came. Danny broke off a fern for me to place.

Danny said he'd like to visit the mainland someday. He has relatives in Kansas City, Missouri, there's a lot of Pohnpeians there! That'll be different from Micronesia, all right. Later Jamie told me that one of the locals had lucked his way into taking over a chain of restaurants there, he'd been working for the owner who, having no heirs, had left his fortune to his favorite worker, and now there's fully three thousand Pohnpeians in KC.

***

So now I'm looking at three days of travel to get home. (Day 1) A ten-hour multi-stop island-hop flight to Honolulu via, I think, Kosrae, and then Kwajalein and Majuro in the Marshall Islands, arriving in Honolulu at 2 AM, followed by a twelve-hour layover during which we'll go sleep in a hotel, (Day 2) a five-hour flight to LA which arrives after the last plane to San Jose so, therefore, a night in a hotel at the LA airport, and finally, (Day 3) the quick flight back to good ole San Ho the next morning. It occurs to me, too late, that I would have done better to arrange my tickets to fly direct from Honolulu to San Francisco.

Embry and I had a nice dinner on our last evening here, talking over old times, remembering our boyhoods and our parents. My brother and I. One more brother image: back at the hotel, there's two resident dogs, they always walk around together, sometimes coming to sleep on my porch, one is slightly bigger than the other. And today after our drive I was feeling a little blue to have the trip nearly over, and I was patting them, and when I was patting the bigger one, the smaller one began to growl and nip at the bigger one for getting more attention. That's me and my brother!

During the long trip home we ran into each other again after we thought we'd said good-bye, and we were delighted to meet. The trip's been very good for our relationship. Standing in that waterfall pool with Embry the other day, I was thinking that if I've ever visiting him in the hospital, or vice versa, we'll be reminiscing about this trip. We'll always have this wonderful adventure that we did together.

It's been one of the great trips of my lifetime, right up there with the overland move to California, the trip to Tonga, the trips to Japan, and the time Sylvia and I did a train trip around Europe.

And it's been very good for my head. I feel happy and relaxed. As Melville says at the start of Moby Dick, when you start feeling like calling the undertaker, head for the ocean!

***

I'm proud to have done something so cool to celebrate my retirement. I feel like I'm done with the process of retiring now, and I've done it right. I've made it through another passage.

Micronesia 19: Drive Around Pohnpei.

Tuesday, April 5th, 2005

We drove around the whole island of Pohnpei today. It was fun, though I felt anxious about not squeezing enough nature in, it's a bit of a downer to be in a car and I was in the car a fair amount yesterday. The green jungle mountains of the interior beckon, I guess I'm not really going to get very deep in there. One practical problem with land excursions is that if you walk more than half an hour in this intense humidity and heat, you're limp with exhaustion.

It was exceedingly hard to find the sights confidently enumerated in a booklet I got at the Pohnpei Tourism office. Despite what the booklet says, there are no road signs of any sort whatsoever. Not a single road is marked in any way. And the booklet is always, like, “turn at the Nan Midol sign.” The island isn't set up for tourists, it's set up for the people who live there. Maybe they took the signs down because they're rebuilding the roads. The People's Republic of China sprung for a new road all the way around Pohnpei, Embry says the PRC is giving lots of aid to tiny countries to help their standing in the votes at the UN.

In any case, you have to stop and ask questions over and over, and it's fun at first to talk to the islanders, but after awhile you begin to feel like an idiot, like the annoying three-foot-tall green alien from the UFO, and for that matter, the islanders don't necessarily like giving out information, it could be that they like to hoard their info, as they don't have many possessions. They're friendly enough, but sometimes they burst into laughter at you, all white and oddly dressed and solemn, and it can get embarrassing.

Anyway after asking seven or eight people, we found our way to an enormous rock, smooth to the feet, a hundred feet long, in the jungle beside an open field with green interior mountains beyond, heartbreakingly beautiful tree crowns against the pale blue sky. The rock is covered with petroglyphs, more or less like in Hawaii, designs carved into the rock, quite old, images of paddles or knives, perhaps a woman's vagina or a shield, some bow-tie shapes, the outline of a whole woman. To find this site we'd asked at a house near it and a betel-nut-chewing guy offered to guide us and we were glad to have him along for a few bucks. Wiley. He banged one spot on the big rock and it sounded a bit hollow and he said, “There is a door in the rock here, and the brothers went inside.” What brothers? “Two brothers came from far away — ” he points to the other side of the island across the interior mountains, maybe ten miles away. “From Kiti. They made these carvings. A giant came, and they hid inside the rock. See here, it's a picture of a lock and a key.”

I told him Embry and I were brothers, and then a little later I told him we were from Kiti, which got a good laugh out of him. It was fun to think of Embry and me as archetypes, as from a legend. Then in a field nearby Wiley showed us a “woman rock” which had a crotch and slit like a vagina, really quite graphic. He touched it for good luck, and I did too. Hoping to see my woman soon.

There were other boulders in the field, and Wiley said they were people too, he said this was his land, and the land was a storyboard, which is the name of a wooden bas relief comic strip of one or more frames that Micronesians carve to preserve legends, e.g. in the Yap airport there's a large storyboard showing three stages of the Yapese getting stone money from Palau. Wiley's rocky field is a storyboard, I love that. Living mythically and in depth.

We got lost again trying to find some Japanese cannons, stumbled upon a clearing in the jungle, a woman sitting there on her steps, two houses and a tiny graveyard with four raised mausoleums, perhaps her family's been in this tiny Eden for generations. She kindly showed us the way to the “sight.” It was like meeting Eve.

Later I swam in a pool in a river by the road with twenty small children. Their mothers were doing laundry the old-style way, beating the clothes with a stick on a rock. Kind of a fountain of youth. Embry just watched. Later I had a feeling the water had been none too clean, for surely there were many houses upstream from the pool.

We encountered a huge traffic jam, cars parked on both sides of the road, creeping along. The pickup in front of us held some enormous ball of roots and dirt attached to a carrying-pole. It was raining, we were at a standstill, I studied the object, it seemed to be a bundle of linked tubers, finally I got out and asked the eight guys riding with it what it was. “A yam.” Pohnpei is known for producing enormous yams, and this yam must have been four hundred pounds, the eight guys could barely carry it, all of them straining at the pole. I'd visualized the giant yams as being oversized perfectly shaped individual supermarket-style yams, but this big fella was more of a lumpy gnarly cluster. As we inched closer to the center of the crowd I saw a pile of freshly slaughtered piglets, a mound of breadfruits, hundreds of natives, many of them carrying plastic plates with rice and roast pig. “Is it a feast?” I asked someone. “It's a funeral.”

All fascinating, but by the end of the day, I'm tired of being so white, so alien, so full of unanswered questions. It'll be good to get back to where I know what's going on.

Micronesia 18: Sakau Party

Monday, April 4th, 2005

Last night we went to a party at Elizabeth's, the Pompeian woman we met the other night. A couple of shirtless guys were sitting in the open pavilion of her cook-house with a big flat rock resting on a pair of old tires; they were pounding a large mound of pepper-root with rounded stones: sakau. The big flat stone must have been very hard, for it rang like metal. I was of course fascinated by the drug preparations, so talked to the main guy, he had a mustache, reminded me a bit of my Filipino friend Bataan whom I got high with at Naropa some twenty years ago. He said the Pohnpeian sakau is better than Fijian kava; it's the roots of a slightly different pepper plant, also in Fiji they dry the roots and grind them into powder which they squeeze in a cloth back in a bowl of water. But in Pohnpei, they make their potion right from the roots, albeit moistening the roots with a cup or two of water. “Bataan” (I forget his real name) and his partner pounded the big flat rock for a long time when they were done pulverizing the roots. Like a dinner bell. A few people drifted into the cook house, though many others were circulating in the yard, drinking wine, sodas and fresh coconuts. A long table of food was nearly ready to be served.

Bataan laid out a long strip of fabric-like hibiscus bark, mounded a couple of pounds of pulverized pepper root on it, wrapped the bark around the root making a kind of tamale the size of his arm, then twisted the bark to squeeze out thick slimy juice. He mixed the first bit of juice back into the pepper pulp, added a cup of water to the pulp, wrapped and squeezed again, this time catching some of the juice in half a coconut shell. He offered some to Embry, the oldest guest, Embry had a sip, and a little later I got a couple of sips as well. I'd been wondering if I should have any, what with wanting to stay sober, but in the end I just had to see how it was.

Thankfully the effects weren't very strong for me. I felt a little tired, a little more relaxed, and just a shade zonked. Rather than wanting a whole lot more as I would have in the old days, my reaction was to remember that I don't like feeling zonked anymore. So I left it at that. They guys doing the squeezing were goin' for it for sure, they said they could get visions from it. They continually squeezed the roots for next several hours. Two American ex-pat guests were really into it, said they'd been doing sakau for years, I'd been talking to them beforehand, they had that weathered slightly off-kilter vibe of long-term stoners, like some interplanetary probe ship whose skin has been pitted and etched by the dust and hard radiation of outer space. Watching the world on instant replay. Calling mission control.

The sakau makers had repetitive chanting music playing on a boom-box, it was special music for a sakau party, and in fact the music was recorded by a local guy called Lorenzo, who's said to have a chance of becoming the next king of the Nett district of Pohnpei. A very dignified older native lady was there, she was the mother of this Lorenzo, it turned out. She'd look at me with level eyes, but wouldn't bother to smile. I'm like this three-foot-tall green alien from a UFO, an interloper in her court. Actually at the end, she smiled very pleasantly when I managed a native word which means hello or goodbye: kasalehlei.

The food was amazing. A suckling pig, a steamed fish half as big as a pizza, a mound of tuna sashimi, a mound of grilled chicken, white yams, taro, breadfruit, pineapple so ripe that even the centers of slices were soft and sweet, curried chicken, red and white rice, pickled cabbage, and three kinds of bananas: boiled in coconut milk, fried, and mashed. No green vegetables; maybe they don't matter after all.

Embry and I really were quite tired after a while, what with the sakau and my triathlon; we went home about ten. I let Embry drive.


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